Or not. In fact, distinct lack thereof this morning saw me waking up next to a chap my friend and her boyfriend tried to set me up with a while ago. ‘No’, said I, I hate set ups, and I told our other friend that whilst I thought New Boy was nice, I was obviously being set up and totally didn’t fancy him.

You can, therefore, appreciate my confusion when I awoke this morning – at their house, naked, and next to NB. Oh dear. But it was surprisngly ok. Whilst I have no idea what went on, we had good morning-after naked banter, which was refreshing. And, let’s face it, it was fab to have a seriously hot bod to look at while eating my porridge in bed. Good work Thelma!!

I’ll keep you posted.

Thelma

About being in a scenario with my 3 ex boyfriends, all of whom were topless.

About beating up one of my best friends because I was just so damn riled.

Do we believe the whole dream-interpretation? I mean, if a popular book is to be believed, our pal Joseph did ok out of it, but does it work? And, if so, am I about to be in some hideous, topless trouble that will necessitate me having to call on those I don’t really want to speak to and, take action I really don’t want to? Eurgh.

Maybe time to lay off the narcotics for a bit.

Thelma

Normally I don’t believe in any of it but last week’s Lurve forecast said I would be going away with friends (I was) and that I would meet someone in the train station in a cold place (I was going to Helsinki and we were to pass through the train station!) – so far, so good!

Now, I got proportionately excited about 4 days before departure when I read my ‘destiny’ but then forgot all about it until one of the male members of our group reminded me about it, and then banged on about it for the ENTIRE weekend.

Needless to say, upon our return, I had no new male companions and felt disappointed – I obviously blame my friend entirely for hammering the point home. Although I did at least achieve something with the opposite sex, in that I managed to unnerve a couple of attractive yet unsuspecting chaps at the airport with some lingering glances (smooth operator that I am!).

This weekend, however, brings ”A new and exciting romantic opportunity to those currently unattached”, so I’ll focus on that, as that’s obviously true. I do love being able to read a selection of forecasts before deeming one the most exciting and, therefore, the ‘truth’.

Thelma

It could be worse I guess though – I do love a good kip!! And the potential for weight loss would be pretty immense.

Thelma

Oh dear.

Thelma

Hmmm…

In my experience, compromise can, more often than not, make both parties feel like they’re missing out, and neither is fully happy. Or so I thought before a previous ex of mine, with whom compromise was successfully reached to the approval of both parties. With hindsight, joyful tool that it is, I can quite clearly see however, that the reason our compromising worked is because I pretty much always got what I wanted and he was just so over the moon to be with me that he’d sacrifice things, or wouldn’t even realise that he had his own needs, so focused was he on mine. Needless to say we’re no longer together – he drove me mental with the worry that I might do myself a horrific injury from falling off the ever-heightening pedestal he had me on.

My best friend is currently in ‘compromise discussions’ with his girlfriend as they’re looking to take the plunge into cohabitation, but the choice of where to locate is very much undecided. Since I’ve known him, he’s had 3 main things he really values: working hard in a job he likes; playing rugby at a high level and living in London with his friends. Now, due to injury, objective 2 has continued to evade him for some time but things are looking up, which is great. Isn’t it? Well, not really… The girlfriend wants him to move way out of London, giving him a huge commute to work (which he’ll accept and compromise on), although her commute will be pretty non-existent, plus she works for a huge franchised firm, but won’t relocate. He works for a bespoke company. He’ll sacrifice living with his friends – he’ll make the effort to see us on weekends he says, and he will – until she plans something for them to do, and then he’ll miss out. Rugby, however, is still an issue (pointed out by yours truly, not whinged about by him) – if he moves to where she wants to be – near her job, her family and her friends – he can only play for a local social side – and hearing him trying to convince himself that he doesn’t mind this, and he’ll be happy playing for fun is pretty heart-breaking. But the gf’s family have told him that he really needs to understand how important compromise is – and he really needs to do more. WTF???

As you can tell, it makes me mad, but he knows my thoughts so nothing would be achieved by ranting at him constantly. Gf doesn’t appreciate how much he’s willing to give up for her, because the silly bugger is so head over heels, he’d probably move to Outer Mongolia (I hope he doesn’t, I don’t know how often BA fly there?).

Huge rant over – compromise is never easy – I don’t know how this scenario will pan out, but I just hope he doesn’t sacrifice too much and end up losing everything that he’s planned for all these years, that he’s finally achieving and that clearly matter to him greatly. Plus, I want him to live with me until I get a boyfriend – selfish and uncompromising? Moi?

Thelma

I overheard a conversation between two 20-something females, discussing one of them’s new squeeze. She described him as “Old fashioned, but ‘good’ old fashioned, you know, in a nice way”

This got me thinking – what would be old fashioned in a ‘bad way’, and what might most women prefer?

I’d be fairly confident that even the Germain Greers amongst us like having the door held open – as I would do for someone else, regardless of sex. But this girl knew her new chap was going to call her the following day at 7:30 pm after work… Now, I’m all about the planning (as Louise and Charlotte would confirm!) but I think in my relationships, I’d prefer a little more spontaneity, wouldn’t you?

I’d love the thought of getting a phone call on a random Tuesday afternoon to see what I was doing that evening – if I’m busy, I’m busy, but I prefer the feeling that someone else has just been thinking about me and so has a real desire, at that exact point, to spend time with me – that seems fair, right?

Although, I would much prefer someone erring on old-fashioned, rather than too metro-sexual… I’m more than happy with men moisturising and taking care of themsleves, and I expect bodily hair to be in check (mono-brows included),  but guyliner? Not my bag. Manicures? Don’t float my boat sir. And please ensure you exercise particular care when purchasing your man bag – this can be a pretty grey area, riddled with potential pitfalls!

And if being a ‘new man’ means you’re clingy and needy, I’m going to say no thanks – although make sure you pay me enough attention or I’ll feel neglected. OK?

Clear as mud? Thought so.

So, it would appear that, even as I try to write, I couldn’t tell you exactly what is right and what’s wrong, and I’m very much aware it depends on the guy in question. If only I could find some to experiment with, then I could make more accurate assessments… Purely for research of course.

Thelma

I arrived at the gym and put my bag in my locker, at which point I noticed a white substance on it. What was the first thought that went through my head?

“Eurgh, I hope that’s not spunk.”

Of course it wasn’t – it was  some of the coconut moisturiser I’d been applying 45 minutes earlier. I had to titter to myself that I instantly jumped to the conclusion that someone had been overly excited on the tube, and jerked off near my bag. At 7 in the morning, on a fairly quiet tube. Nice. I obviously have a really high opinion of my fellow commuters too!

Thelma

The non-date night was actually the start of a very good weekend of fun – with big gay antics in Soho, silly amounts of dancing, amd some mild (if fraudulent, oops!) flirting. I also went out for a catch up with one of my male friends and his situation is as follows…

My Best Friend and I live together and have been relatively inseperable since we first met at school (which is longer ago than we care to dicuss!). Sorry, I digress…

For BF’s birthday last year I threw him a little ‘surprise’ thing in a restaurant in town – inviting, among others, our friend  (Mr X, who I was out with on Sunday) from uni and our neighbour (Ms Y), who hadn’t met each other.  Short version is, they got together and have been going strong for a year.

He dropped it into conversation on Sunday night that it’s all going well but she’s told him, in no uncertain terms, that he’s ‘The One’ and that she also wants to be proposed to before she’s 29. She turned 28 nine days ago.

This lead me to start thinking about ultimatums, as Mr X is not the kind who’d usually be pushed into anything  but, if Ms Y is adamant that 29 is her cut-off, surely something’s got to give, right? This also raises the issue of compromise, which is something I’m too fuming about at the moment to share, but brace yourselves – it’s on its way!! Sorry, more digression…

So who will crack first? And if they can’t agree, are their differing views reason enough to part ways? He’ not 100% that she’s ‘The One’, but will admit she’s his favourite thus far…

I’ll keep you posted. Until then, the other food for thought I was supplied with, is that whilst I’ve always gone against the grain – being in a relationship when no-one else was and now being one of very few singletons (thank god for Louise – although we may have developments there too, heckers!), it’s coming up to that time when, according to folklore, previous patterns, star-formation, blah, blah, blah – there’ll be another load of break ups of relationships within my friendship groups – not sure I want to think about that, but I couldn’t help wondering who it might be… And I know it makes me an awful person, but between you and I, I did get a little bit excited about expanding the Singles Club. Oops.

Thelma

This guy sounds fairly good on paper, and he’s a good friend of my good friend’s boyfriend – so far so good.

I’ve purposefully tried not to ask much, for fear of creating the following scenario…

“So, it was about 4 years ago while I was backpacking around Europe…”

“Oh, was that when you realised you wanted to dump your ex because she was really controlling and would only let you stay in Barcelona for 2 nights which meant you didn’t get to go to that awesome little tapas place?…”

“Er, yeah… sorry, what was your name again?”

So we shall see what tonight brings. Unfortunately January has been a no-booze month for yours truly (MOST out of character), so can’t even have a cheeky g&t to start the proceedings, but we’ll see how it goes – I’ll let you know!

Am pretty adamant that set-ups never work though, but who knows (again, not convinced this isn’t me trying to trick myself into believing that I’m the exception, and not the rule), only time will tell. My friend and her fella will be there too, so I guess it won’t be as bad as a blind date, will it?

TBC…

Thelma